A profound prayer

Lord, be Thou my will. – Thomas Kelly

A Prophet

I’ve seen a lot of interesting and inspiring quotes from Martin Luther King, Jr. today. The beat one I’ve seen wasn’t about him or by him, but it’s very fitting.

In Lamentations, the writer chronicles the hopelessness and destruction felt in Jerusalem as the city fell. God’s chosen people had abandoned him and refused to listen, and destruction came shortly after.

A large part of what happened is that they ignored God’s prophet and favored those who told them that they would be fine:

Your “prophets”have said so many foolish things, false to the core. They do not try to hold you back from exile by pointing out your sins. Instead, they painted these false pictures, filling you with false hope. – Lamentations 2:14

When someone speaks God’s truth to us, like MLK, we need to humble ourselves and listen.

As Lamentations 3 says, let us turn in repentance to the Lord. Let us lift our hearts and hands to God and say, that we have sinned and rebelled.

Let’s be just as a people, let’s take care of the alien, the orphan, and the widow. Let’s use fair scales. Let’s respect one another as children of God.

Let’s listen to the ones who bring us God’s message ad let’s ignore the yes men.

The Bachelor Episode 1: Amazing Crazy

It’s that time again.  Chris Harrison and this year’s Bachelor have teamed up for one glorious goal: to find next season’s Bachelorette.  Let’s do this.

THE BACHELOR:

Ben.  Ben is a winemaker from San Francisco.  I like this guy.  His favorite things:

• Standing in doorways looking outside
• Kayaking by himself
• Riding on a tractor
• Love

Do you remember that 90s Ginuwine song Pony? Poor Ben is the opposite of that song. He is way out of his league with nearly all of these women, and he is loving it.  How do I know this? Because he said, “That is…a pretty lady.”  Cool guys don’t say things like that. (Cool guys are also very boring.)  Ben looks like Zach Braff and he sounds like Jacob from Twilight. I’m afraid he’s going to be eaten alive by this year’s crazy contestants.  I guess if you are a single, semi-nerdy guy, you take that shot.

Ben seems like someone I would hang out with, which is a big plus. I thought Brad was pretty cool, but he’s not the kind of guy I would generally be friends with. Not because I don’t like him, but because we run in different circles. Ben and I don’t know about any workouts that isolate lats.

THE CONTESTANTS:

We’re a decade into the Bachelor(ette) franchise, and at this point the contestants are only very thinly veiling their aspirations to use the show as a springboard to fame.  Of the twenty-five girls, I think two or three seem like they would actually be interested in Ben outside of the show.  A few of the girls stood out:

Lindzi: Lindzi rides horses and is very pretty. Ben has a vineyard which has plenty of room for both pretty girls and horses.  I think things are lining up for these two. She seems genuinely sweet so I hope she stays around for awhile.

Amber: Amber is from Nebraska.  She likes guns and COW BALLS.  Accent, exotic (to CA Ben), pretty. Yes.

Kacie: Kacie is from Tennessee.  She is the Sandra Bullock of the show.  She’s sweet to everyone and pretty and patient and funny. She’s my early frontrunner to win the whole damn thing.

Courtney: Courtney is a “model” from Santa Monica. She said that she loves competition and isn’t worried about her competition. This means that she is worried about her competition and ferociously insecure. I bet she won’t make a ton of friends.  Seacrest says she dumped her long-term boyfriend to get on the show.

Jamie: Jamie is a nurse who raised her siblings. She is pretty and caring and she wants babies. If Ben likes brunettes, it’ll be a tough year for him. Lots of choices.

Jenna: A blogger from NYC.  Kind of reminds me of Anna David. In a meta reference that just blew my mind, I saw that David blogs about the Bachelor and shared an awesome link about weird ways that people found love (ex. firefighter and fire victim, Renaissance Faire fence builders). I thought she seemed interesting. Again with the brunette thing.

OH! Quote from Ben: “I am loving the brunettes!”

Brittney: Brought her grandma to show that she cared about family. From the previews, it looked like Ben was going to handle this poorly, which was sad. In real life, Ben was super nice to Brittney’s grandma and I think he liked Brittney. If he picks a blonde girl, she’s got to be on the short list.

Emily: An aspiring epidemiologist who raps and accidentally sprays Ben in the face with chemicals. Word on the street is that Ben really likes her.

Well, those are the contestants who stood out to me.

LESSONS LEARNED:

The other things that stood out:

The toilet paper commercial where a woman with a serious expression said something like, “It’s time we talked about what we really want out of toilet paper.”  Was this ever even an issue? I’m pretty sure everyone knows what TP is for. Why do we even have advertising for toilet paper? That’s like advertising socks.

I learned two new phrases during the episode: “amazing crazy” and “nicely bubbly”. I have already incorporated both into my everyday speech.

Quote of the show: “I’m going to cut her %$*#%* face off.”  One girl said that about another girl.  Why would you ever say that? Do the toilet paper companies know about this? How much alcohol is consumed on this show?

PREDICTIONS:

Lindzi, Emily, Kacie, blonde girl who got the rose. I liked blonde girl, but I don’t know her name.

My second prediction is that we will see a lot of side cleavage, hear the words love and like a lot, and watch mascara run all over the place as tears and sobs abound.

Love hurts, ladies.

2012: Year of the Honey Badger

Today is the last day of 2011.  Instead of making resolutions that I most certainly won’t keep for the New Year, I am giving myself a mission statement. which will help guide my behavior, my attitudes, and my time.  My mission statement is inspired by one part Tim Tebow, one part Bible, and one part age.

My mission: Be me.

I know what you are thinking. “Be me,” sounds like a platitude that you would see someone post on Pinterist. “Keep Calm and Be Me,” it would say. That probably exists.

I don’t mean in it in a frivolous way. I mean it in the Jeremiah 29 way. God created me a certain way and he has plans for me, and if I don’t live the way that he intended me to live, then I am missing out on a lot of joy and also on who he intended me to be.

God made me to love him and my neighbor. He put inside me a deep desire to love my wife, to be a peacemaker, to love art, to love food, to make music.  Those yearnings and passions are in me for a reason, and to ignore them is a mistake that makes me miserable.  That’s the Bible part.  Now, naturally, comes Tim Tebow.

I can’t even imagine how many words have been written or read about Tim Tebow in 2011. The thing I love about Tebow is that he is who he is and everybody knows it. He is comfortable with his faith and his life.

In my own life, I have often found myself uncomfortable with displaying my actual self to the world. When in public I will often hide my journal, a book I’m reading, or even my Bible. I’m ashamed to admit it, but for a lot of my adult life I have hidden my Bible from my peers. I didn’t want people to think I was weird or judgmental.

Sadly, hiding my Bible is a giant act of judgment. It assumes that anyone who sees it will judge me, think that I am stupid or naive, and will cut off any relationship with me. It sounds like I’m being judgmental. It also sounds dishonest.

The lesson I’m learned from Tebow is that it’s ok to be who you are and to be brave enough to allow others to see who you are. Otherwise, you’re missing out.

The last influence in my mission is just age. The older we get, the less concerned we become about middle school-level politics. (Hopefully.) I’ve also spent enough time worrying about silly things and shielding myself from others’ view that I’ve learned it’s not the best way to live.

So, thanks to the Bible, Tebow, and the school of hard knocks, I’ve decided that 2012 will the year in which I am unashamed to be me. I want to love God and my neighbor. I want to be a good husband, a loyal friend, an excellent professional peacemaker, an artist, an athlete. I want to find peace in God and trust that who he created me to be is good.

God bless you and yours in the new year.

A Christmas Story

I hate the holidays.

That’s how I’ve largely felt for my entire life.  Too many disruptions, too much anxiety, too many expectations. Too many social situations.

When I was six years old, I had an anxiety attack on Christmas morning. I had to go lay down and drink a glass of water.  As a high schooler, it seemed that bad things happened to people around the holidays. Illness, accidents and the like. As a college student, I could not in good conscience feel happy at Christmas with so much injustice in the world.

This year, Christmas has snuck up on me.  The holiday season has barely blipped on my generally full radar screen or neuroses. I’ve been too busy – searching for the perfect gift(s) for loved ones, reconnecting with old friends,  rediscovering old creative interests, trying to offer a hand where I can.

The strangest thing has happened – this year I’ve enjoyed Christmas.

“Fear not, and behold. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all people.”

Christ the Savior was born.  The one who would make the blind see, the lame walk, the lepers clean, the deaf hear.  The one that would raise the dead. The one who would sit with the foreigner, the orphan, the widow. The Lamb of God.

If you were here with me right now, you would see a slow smile spread across my face as I think of this Jesus, coming into our dirty world to make us clean and heal us and protect us, to destroy the work of the devil. You might think I was reflecting on a profound theological truth or discerning  some sage insight into our existence.

What you would not expect would be my pure nerdish joy at this Jesus, whom I picture as a cross between the Fonz standing up for Richie Cunningham and Superman flying through the air to meet a meteor headed to Metropolis. I see the meteor’s momentum slow and reverse as Superman saves us from our certain demise. In my heart, these images are joy embodied.

I see this Jesus standing in heaven with the ones that we’ve lost this year, I see him handing a coat and a burger to the mentally ill man who walks by my office every day.  I see him digging a well for clean water in Gulu. I see him praying over a friend’s baby bump.  I see him whispering in the ear of the hopeless, convincing them to keep trying.

He’s my brother and Lord, he’s a lamb and Superman, and we have put up LED lights on and around our houses to celebrate his birthday. And that’s all cool with me.

Merry Christmas to you and yours.

True Worship

The kind of fasting I want calls you too free those who are wrongly imprisoned and to stop oppressing those who work for you. Treat ten fairly and give them what they earn. I want you to share your food with the hungry and to welcome poor wanderers into your homes. Give clothes to those who need them, and do not hide from relatives who need your help. If you do those things your salvation will come like the dawn…stop oppressing the helpless and stop making false accusations and spreading vicious rumors. Feed the hungry and help those in trouble. – Isaiah 58

Silby, Destroyer of Worlds

Silby

Look at that little guy.  Cute, right?  That’s Silby, my father-in-law’s dog.  Silby looks like someone took a shrinkray to a lab and created a perpetual lab puppy.  What he lacks for in raw intelligence, he makes up for with his abundance of optimism and zeal.

Early last Sunday morning, after spending some time reading Scripture, I decided to step outside and take a look at the beautiful West Texas view.

The view from the porch.

It was nice to see Texas finally get some rain, and to see Creation enjoy it.  I was so focused on that, I didn’t notice the flash of mischief in Silby’s eye.

The little dog, in his infinite wisdom, decided to sprint off the porch and run directly at the cows grazing across the street.

I don’t mean that Silby ran towards the cows or near the cows.  I mean that he ran directly in the middle of all the cows.  Aggressively.  Silby decided the best possible thing that he could do as a twenty pound bird dog would be to attack cows. My heart sank.  He was going to get killed.

Despite my awareness that Silby is a dog, I verbally referred to him as a donkey, and then I ran across the street to the fence and weighed my options.  Do I jump the fence and try to snag him?  Do I yell?  What would the best action be? Silby chased a cow in a giant circle.  The cow then realized that he was a cow and started chasing Silby.  I was running out of time.

After envisioning my father-in-law’s little dog getting punted over the fence like a wayward field goal, I decided I had to act.  I ran up and down the fence like an idiot, yelling and waving.  This did not impact Silby in the least.  Even though a cow was half-heartedly chasing him, he was busy sniffing the dirt.  I did manage to make around two dozen cows very confused.

Finally, Silby looked up and noticed me sprinting parallel to him.  He trotted through the fence and started running in the street.   I sprinted behind him down the middle of the country road, chasing him back to the house.

The middle cow still has no idea what Silby or I were doing. Neither do I, cow.

As I put Silby on his leash, I was flooded with a mix of gratitude, relief, and unmitigated rage.  The little dog seemed largely uninterested in the events of the previous five minutes, although I did see a bit of irritation in his eyes.  This beast would not be tamed.

Proof that wild hearts can't be broken.

Overall, I couldn’t be happier with how the events of that morning ended.  Silby was ok, I didn’t have to explain to my father-in-law why his dog had a black eye, and I even got some high-intensity cardio done before 8am.  So did some cows.

Austin Comic-Con 2011

Remember last year’s Austin Comic-Con wrap-up? It was successful enough that Wizard World returned again this year with a bigger, better con.  Nate and I were excited to check it out this year, and we even brought a friend.  And my brave, brave wife.

Overall, I felt like the quality of this year’s convention was higher than last year’s.  There weren’t quite as many big-named (relatively) guests, but the size and selection of booths was impressive.  There was a fun mix of merch, art, steampunk, indie publishers, fan groups, and comic vendors.

This year, I was excited to see the number of fan groups raising money for charity.  The Austin Browncoats raised money for groups including Equality Now, SafePlace, and Kids Need to Read. (If you aren’t familiar with “Browncoats”, it’s  a term associated with fans of the tv show Firefly.)  Another group that stood our for their charitable work was the 501st Garrison/Central TX Squad, which let you take photos with Storm Troopers for a small donation.

Some of the highlights this year included talking to some nerd icons and meeting people who put a lot of time and effort into making their own costumes:

That’s Adam Baldwin.  You might recognize him from Chuck, Firefly, or Full Metal Jacket, or the Halo games.  In addition to being an actor, he’s also a prolific conservative blogger.  I think he’s around 50 years old, which really does a number on my self-esteem.  I need to hit the gym.

That’s me with Nicki Clyne, aka Cally from Battlestar Galactica.  It was great to get to talk with her about the show, what Edward James Olmos is like, her character arc, etc.  For the record, she was easily one of the nicer people I got to meet.

Nate and I also talked with the Million Dollar Man, Ted DeBiase.  He’s a pro-wrestling icon, and one of the great heels of the 1980s.  Now, he’s focused on Christian ministry.  We mainly talked about that.

Next, we toured lots of people from the Buffyverse, including Spike and Charisma Carpenter.  In real life, Spike has dark hair.  He’s also American.  Kind of shocking.  Charisma Carpenter is in her forties, and she provided me with further proof that I need to get in the gym.

We also saw Kevin Sorbo.  Hercules. Ryan Atwood’s dad.  He is a handsome giant.  Samantha and Kayla’s reaction to Kevin Sorbo was very much like George’s reaction to food cooking in the kitchen.  They both trotted around his booth and watched him out of the corners of their eyes. Lots of walking back and forth.  Lots of jittery energy.  For the record, he seemed really cool, and he has also aged very well.  And I need to do some pushups.

As we made our way through the crowd, our friend Kayla decided to get Simpsonized by Phil Ortiz.  The artist has worked on a lot of shows, most notably The Simpsons.  For a very reasonable price, he draws Comic-Con attendees as a Simpsons character.  Since Phil is such a nice guy and spends so much time with each fan, the wait was about two hours.  I think it was worth the wait, though.

While Kayla and Sam waited in line, Nate and I made the rounds to meet and greet costumed con attendees.

Is the best part of this photo Batman's wristband or Nate's inability to pose?

This guy was really cool.  I have no idea how long his costume took, but it looked great in person.  Also, he had a Southern accent, which was very different than Christian Bale’s growl.

Ghost Rider

The best part of this photo might be the animated conversations and stares in the background.

Assassin’s Creed.  Didn’t catch this guy’s name, but he was really friendly and informative.  You can’t really tell in the photo, but the material he used was thick and textured, like it is in the game.

The Defuser

The Defuser won Stan Lee’s “Who Wants to Be a Superhero” tv show in season two.  In real life, Defuser is a cop from Austin.  He’s used his fame  to raise money for local cancer charities.  You can learn more here.

The guys were great.

I’m not positive, but I think these guys were with The Steam Engine Intrepid.  They were pretty funny, and Nicki Clyne loved the guy on stilts.  Some of the steampunk outfits were amazing.

These were the guys I mentioned earlier that let you take photos for charity.

Nate, soakin' it up.

That’s Nate, loving his Jayne hat from Austin browncoats.  A curious Joker and Harley Quinn are right behind him.  What a day.

That’s Austin Comic-Con 2011.  Lots of costumes, nerd heroes, and good causes.  See you next year.

Truth from an Old Fashioned

We’re playing with house money, and it’s all a game, and we’re all ok.  If you love someone, if you really love them, then of course of you tell them, because that’s what we’re here for.  Singing should be done at a high volume and with low self-regard.  Dancing is the same.  Even if it’s never in front of anyone but you and your dog.  If your heart and your soul are telling you something, then you better damn well listen, because that’s why God made you.  Love your God and love the people around you, and do it with your whole heart. Don’t sell yourself short.  This is a beautiful, heartbreaking place, and you owe it to everyone around you to man up and really be there.  Enjoy your work, your play, and most of all, the ones that you love.  That’s your blessing from God.

GI Joe, or, An Unscientific Study of the Rumble in the Jungle

Let me break it down: I love food, and food don’t love me back.

The more I enjoy a food, the more likely it is that food will have me rolling around on the kitchen floor.  Crying, clutching my gurgling stomach, and asking the heavens why my fat pants are now tight.  I don’t even have muffin top anymore, I have mushroom cloud.

You know, me, I’m a guy who likes to get to the bottom of things.  Especially plates of nachos, but more on that later.  In an effort to understand why most of the food I love hurts so good, I’ve kept a running, categorized diary of everything I eat.  Here are the categories:

American Gladiator:  I’m probably a couple of pushups away from being cast in The Avengers.

Good: Satiated, perhaps a little “full”.

Hmm: Did I eat too much? Maybe?  My teeth feel weird, and I’m a little sluggish. If you try to tickle me, you might get a “sound byte”.

Gross: I feel like I need to take a nap and a shower. And my jeans may need to be unbuttoned if I’m sitting. And leave me alone.

Nuclear Apocalypse: Pray!

And now, let’s see what goes where:

American Gladiator: Vegetarian taco salad, boring (Kashi) cereal with almond milk, Veggie Delight sub from Subway, Amy’s burrito, water, Avocado sandwich

Good: Banana, Veggie Delight sub from Thundercloud, jalapeno cheese kolaches

Hmm: Dos Equis beer, Chili cheese garlic fries, Shipley donut, Miss Vicky’s jalapeno chips, crackers, instant oatmeal

Gross:Dark beer, candy, Apple Jacks, cake, Whoppers (I only had three!), Pumpkin bread + a saad, grilled cheese + chips + candy, cake balls, generic Oreos

Nuclear Apocalypse: Chicken strips and french fries from IHOP.

What does it all mean? How do jalapeno cheese kolaches not make me feel gross? Why was I eating fried chicken from IHOP? I welcome any and all advice from you amateur nutritionists out there.