Monthly Archives: January 2012

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A Prophet

I’ve seen a lot of interesting and inspiring quotes from Martin Luther King, Jr. today. The beat one I’ve seen wasn’t about him or by him, but it’s very fitting.

In Lamentations, the writer chronicles the hopelessness and destruction felt in Jerusalem as the city fell. God’s chosen people had abandoned him and refused to listen, and destruction came shortly after.

A large part of what happened is that they ignored God’s prophet and favored those who told them that they would be fine:

Your “prophets”have said so many foolish things, false to the core. They do not try to hold you back from exile by pointing out your sins. Instead, they painted these false pictures, filling you with false hope. – Lamentations 2:14

When someone speaks God’s truth to us, like MLK, we need to humble ourselves and listen.

As Lamentations 3 says, let us turn in repentance to the Lord. Let us lift our hearts and hands to God and say, that we have sinned and rebelled.

Let’s be just as a people, let’s take care of the alien, the orphan, and the widow. Let’s use fair scales. Let’s respect one another as children of God.

Let’s listen to the ones who bring us God’s message ad let’s ignore the yes men.

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The Bachelor Episode 1: Amazing Crazy

It’s that time again.  Chris Harrison and this year’s Bachelor have teamed up for one glorious goal: to find next season’s Bachelorette.  Let’s do this.

THE BACHELOR:

Ben.  Ben is a winemaker from San Francisco.  I like this guy.  His favorite things:

  • Standing in doorways looking outside
  • Kayaking by himself
  • Riding on a tractor
  • Love

Do you remember that 90s Ginuwine song Pony? Poor Ben is the opposite of that song. He is way out of his league with nearly all of these women, and he is loving it.  How do I know this? Because he said, “That is…a pretty lady.”  Cool guys don’t say things like that. (Cool guys are also very boring.)  Ben looks like Zach Braff and he sounds like Jacob from Twilight. I’m afraid he’s going to be eaten alive by this year’s crazy contestants.  I guess if you are a single, semi-nerdy guy, you take that shot.

Ben seems like someone I would hang out with, which is a big plus. I thought Brad was pretty cool, but he’s not the kind of guy I would generally be friends with. Not because I don’t like him, but because we run in different circles. Ben and I don’t know about any workouts that isolate lats.

THE CONTESTANTS:

We’re a decade into the Bachelor(ette) franchise, and at this point the contestants are only very thinly veiling their aspirations to use the show as a springboard to fame.  Of the twenty-five girls, I think two or three seem like they would actually be interested in Ben outside of the show.  A few of the girls stood out:

Lindzi: Lindzi rides horses and is very pretty. Ben has a vineyard which has plenty of room for both pretty girls and horses.  I think things are lining up for these two. She seems genuinely sweet so I hope she stays around for awhile.

Amber: Amber is from Nebraska.  She likes guns and COW BALLS.  Accent, exotic (to CA Ben), pretty. Yes.

Kacie: Kacie is from Tennessee.  She is the Sandra Bullock of the show.  She’s sweet to everyone and pretty and patient and funny. She’s my early frontrunner to win the whole damn thing.

Courtney: Courtney is a “model” from Santa Monica. She said that she loves competition and isn’t worried about her competition. This means that she is worried about her competition and ferociously insecure. I bet she won’t make a ton of friends.  Seacrest says she dumped her long-term boyfriend to get on the show.

Jamie: Jamie is a nurse who raised her siblings. She is pretty and caring and she wants babies. If Ben likes brunettes, it’ll be a tough year for him. Lots of choices.

Jenna: A blogger from NYC.  Kind of reminds me of Anna David. In a meta reference that just blew my mind, I saw that David blogs about the Bachelor and shared an awesome link about weird ways that people found love (ex. firefighter and fire victim, Renaissance Faire fence builders). I thought she seemed interesting. Again with the brunette thing.

OH! Quote from Ben: “I am loving the brunettes!”

Brittney: Brought her grandma to show that she cared about family. From the previews, it looked like Ben was going to handle this poorly, which was sad. In real life, Ben was super nice to Brittney’s grandma and I think he liked Brittney. If he picks a blonde girl, she’s got to be on the short list.

Emily: An aspiring epidemiologist who raps and accidentally sprays Ben in the face with chemicals. Word on the street is that Ben really likes her.

Well, those are the contestants who stood out to me.

LESSONS LEARNED:

The other things that stood out:

The toilet paper commercial where a woman with a serious expression said something like, “It’s time we talked about what we really want out of toilet paper.”  Was this ever even an issue? I’m pretty sure everyone knows what TP is for. Why do we even have advertising for toilet paper? That’s like advertising socks.

I learned two new phrases during the episode: “amazing crazy” and “nicely bubbly”. I have already incorporated both into my everyday speech.

Quote of the show: “I’m going to cut her %$*#%* face off.”  One girl said that about another girl.  Why would you ever say that? Do the toilet paper companies know about this? How much alcohol is consumed on this show?

PREDICTIONS:

Lindzi, Emily, Kacie, blonde girl who got the rose. I liked blonde girl, but I don’t know her name.

My second prediction is that we will see a lot of side cleavage, hear the words love and like a lot, and watch mascara run all over the place as tears and sobs abound.

Love hurts, ladies.